The Best Cheesecake on Earth

Let’s just get one thing straight: I KNOW Cheesecake.
I have eaten Coeur de Creme in France, Ricotta Cheesecakes in Italy and Oreo Cheesecake at the Cheesecake Factory. I have had frozen cheesecake bites, cheesecake lollipops and cheesecake-flavored cream cheese spread.
Let’s just say that I have eaten my fair share of cheesecake. Just ask my ever expanding hips for proof.
But never, EVER have I had a cheesecake as mouth-droppingly delicious as my Marmie’s cheesecake. 
It’s so good, it’s just…nuts!
No, really…the crust is just nuts. You take about a pound of nuts – I like a mixture of pecans, walnuts and almonds – and blitz them in the food processor until it is pebbly and ground but not super fine like pepper.
That’s about right. You still want some bigger chunks in there. Don’t worry if you overgrind it, it just will have a finer, more crumbly texture than a denser, cookie like texture.
Now preheat your oven to 325.
Now you are going to add some sugar. You want to add about a cup – these nuts better be QUITE sweet. 
Time to tinfoil your springform pan. Makes cleanup and removing the cheesecake SO easy, and also…ain’t no chance of drippage. That ALWAYS happens to me when I don’t use tinfoil…that’s just the kinda lucky gal I am.
And NOW is when you put the nut mixture into the pan and dribble about 4 tablespoons of melted butter into the pan. Mix the butter around to make the whole nut mixture moistened. You might need some more butter or some less, but you want the whole crust to be densely packed and moist.
Taste it, too, and make sure it is sweet.
Tasting the crust may be the best part of your day, thus far. 
Now it’s time for the CAKE part! Toss 4 blocks of SOFTENED cream cheese into your stand mixer (or bowl, so you can mix it with your handheld mixer.
Now start to whip the cheese, and as you do, pour in 2 cans of sweetened condensed milk.
Then lick the lids…trust me, you REALLY want to lick the lids.
Keep mixing, and toss in 6 eggs.
Now you want to squeeze the juice of one lemon in there, 
and throw in about 2 Tbls. of vanilla extract and 1/2 cup of sugar. Beat the mixture till the whole thing is liquidy and combined, and…if you are REALLY dangerous…taste it, and adjust seasonings as needed.
I am really adventurous.
If it is too tangy, add some more sugar. Too tart? Throw in a few spoonfuls of cream cheese. Too sweet? Some more sugar and vanilla. You will know what it needs.
But really…it won’t need anything. This is perfect as is. TRUST me.
Now pour it into the prepared pan, put it in a bain marie and let it cook for about 90 minutes, checking it every 10 minutes after the first 50 minutes. You can also just cook the cake plainly, without a water bath, but then you REALLY have to keep an eye on it. You want the cake to be firm but NOT stiff. It can still jiggle a little in the middle when you shake it – it should not be liquidy, just gelled. And don’t cook it so long it gets cracked – that means it’s overcooked. You want to AVOID crackage on the top.
Now is the hard part. You have to let it chill. For at least two hours. So freakin hard. But…
SO freakin worth it! This cheesecake is dense, creamy, vanilla-y joy. It isn’t sugary, tooth-achingly sweet, but tastes clean and gently sweet, like fresh cream. It is not airy or artificially sweet like lesser cheesecakes are. It is good with some raspberry jam spread on top, but even better on its own. On top of those buttery, rich nuts, the thick and rich cheesecake topping is simultaneously dessert and breakfast. I mean, that’s how I eat it. And that’s how you will too. I guarantee you that if you try this cheeescake, you will NEVER make it another way again. 
And, remember…I know my cheesecake.


  1. Sarah says:

    I wanted to eat that SO badly. Ask Marmie to create a nut-free crust recipe for me to attempt to cook! xoxo your tree nut allergy friend

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