Lazy Caesar Salad

There are different ways to make a Caesar Salad. The most authentic ones call for lots of garlic, a fresh egg yolk, and chopped anchovies. 
But then there is the chance that you might, at some point, want to kiss someone before the year 2016, or make a salad without sweating the chance of giving your diners salmonella. 
In that case, you need a gentler Caesar. A kinder Caesar. A Caesar that is still pungent and flavorful but without the stank or possible food danger of the original. 
And that’s what this is. The lazy folk’s Caesar. 
 INGREDIENTS:
2 Cups REAL Mayonnaise
1 Cup Olive Oil
2 Tbls. Mustard
2 Garlic Cloves
1 Cup Lemon Juice or White Wine Vinegar
1 Tbls. Worcestershire Sauce
2 Cups Parmesan Cheese
Salt and Pepper to Taste
 First, you crush the garlic into a paste using kosher salt, as shown here, then toss the cloves in the large bowl where you will put the salad.
 Now it’s time for the mayonnaise. This is the secret to making quick Caesar dressing if you don’t want to use a raw egg, or don’t have any eggs in the house. Caesar salad is just eggs and oil anyway, and what is mayonnaise? Oh yeah…eggs and oil. Trust me – if you don’t like mayonnaise but you like Caesar Salad…this will totally change your mind about the gloopy condiment. 
 Throw the mayo in the bowl. 
 Now juice those lemons in the bowl. I prefer lemons to vinegar because they have a bright, milder taste, but if you long for a tarter, stronger flavor, by all means use vinegar. The important thing is that you use some sort of  acid here – it’s necessary to counteract that mayonnaise. 
 Now the Worcestershire – this stands in for the anchovies. If you don’t have Worcestershire in this house, I have NO idea how you cook anything. Really…Worcestershire is good in everything from soup to salad dressings to hamburgers. It is umami at it’s finest – meaty, sweet, pungent, salty – it makes everything better. Except maybe chocolate cake.  
 Now time for the Parmesan!
 And the salt and pepper. The Worcestershire and the cheese are both salty, so go easy on that, but you NEED pepper here. Caesar without pepper is like a pair of jeans without a zipper: useless and a bit embarrassing. 
 Now you are going to mix it all up – it will be a little thick – and add your oil. Don’t worry about adding it in carefully, just plop it in. Since the mayo is already emulsified, the mustard should just blend right in. 
 I like to use Dijon mustard, since I like it’s faint wine-y taste, but use whatever kind you like. 
 Toss it in and whisk away.
 When you are ready to serve the salad, toss some romaine lettuce and homemade croutons in the bowl with the dressing. 
 And prepare to be amazed. Creamy but not goopy, pungent but not overtly garlic or fishy, tart but not sour…this hits all the flavor points of a Caesar salad without banging you over the head with any one flavor. It comes together in no time whatsoever, and is strong enough to stand up to mussels fra diavolo, but strong enough to act as a main course next to some chargrilled chicken
Many times, I just eat it on its own. Out of the bowl. With the serving spoon. 
Because that is REALLY the lazy person’s Caesar. 

Comments

  1. Dee says:

    How many thousands are you serving here? That's a lot of dressing! Sounds yummy. I'm about to go off to a family reunion where I'm assigned a meal for 27 plus kids…sounds like just the right amount! Thanks.

  2. Fritos and Foie Gras says:

    @Dee – haha, it is a huge amount, but you will not BELIEVE how fast it goes!!! This was for a party for about 10 people, and we didn't even have any leftovers :)

  3. JustinM says:

    If the person I wanted to kiss did not appreciate garlic and anchovy breath, I would no longer want to kiss her.

    Beautiful salad, though.

  4. Dee says:

    Justin – well said!

  5. Fritos and Foie Gras says:

    @Justin – my kinda man!!!
    @Dee – agreed!

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