Epic Fails of 2012

It’s time for that favorite post…the worst edible screw ups of the year that didn’t make it to the blog! This year, most of them involved eating out instead of cooking. Which is a screw up in itself…I need to be cooking more! I love it and I’m not as bad at it as I am at running long distances.

Or short distances. But, I digress…

Without further ado… 1. Bourbon Tasting

If you don’t like bourbon, don’t go to a bourbon tasting. By the end of this, I was drunk, smelled like an old man with no family left in the world, and was so belligerent that I actually scratched my sister for refusing to order a side of ranch with our fries.

She forgave me. My hangover did not.

2. McDonald’s Breakfast

Oh, don’t know how this ended up in there…this was awesome.

3. Bone Marrow and Ramp Matzoh Balls

The taste was awesome-meaty, creamy, and spicy from the ramps. However, these balls were incredibly dense and heavy. I don’t mind a sinker, but it can’t sit like a bowling ball in my stomach. Next time, I’m using seltzer instead of water. The flavorings might stay the same, though…stay tuned.

4. I’m the worst photographer…still.

Tia Pol is a great tapas restaurant…as good as my photography skills are bad. No flash+ plenty of wine = big ole problem.

5. The vegetable massacre of ’12

I tried to do a quick roast with extra olive oil, a very hot oven, and some quick cooking veggies, but it really backfired.

Soggy, limp, and utterly tasteless.

That’s what she said.

6. The most overrated restaurant in America

I know that it’s now closed. We need not beat a dead horse. But…yeah. Service was fine but the food was so-so at best.

7. Honey mustard carrots.

Honey mustard? Great. Carrots? Great. They might go together, right? Wrong. So, so wrong. It tasted like a field of grass died in my mouth.

8. Pennsylvania Dutch road stop

Cantonese roast pork this ain’t. Sauerkraut aside, this had as much taste as a cardboard box. The dessert was great and the veggies were fresh. Why did they see it fit to murder this poor pork roast, especially when it was already dead?

9. This clam chowder

Enough said, people. Enough said.

Here is to a year of more delicious food, less disappointments, and peace on earth.

Happy New Year! See you all January 2!


  1. The worst things I ate this year: a floppy, greasy chicken dish at a Chinese/Mexican (not a misprint) joint, a Nathan’s Famous hot dog, pulled pork sliders at Yankee Stadium, a stale sushi roll in Brooklyn Heights, and popcorn shrimp at a local diner, which were one of the 5 worst things I have ever eaten.

    Special Grand Prizes awarded to KFC for their dishonest “chicken littles” campaign, and the bagel shop across the street whose chicken salad gave Liz food poisoning and a 9-hour, $4700 emergency room visit.