Flight Snob

Ugh. I have become such a flight snob. And not because of the wonderful reclining seats, the high end lounges with massages, or the priority passes that get you through passport control in half the time of the standard line.

It’s really because, no matter how long your flight is, they feed you. Non. freaking. STOP.

And those flight attendants don’t look at you oddly if you ask for more champagne at 8:30 AM. They don’t care if you order both appetizers. And they are truly offended if you don’t finish your dessert.

It’s their personal goal to see you get fatter.

Even American Airlines, who has long been behind its international counterparts in the food arena, has recently upped its game with its signature flagship service. Take a look:

first 2 days trip 015

There is a menu. An honest to goodness “oh look, now I can pretend that I’m not trapped in a huge metal box for 8+ hours” menu.

first 2 days trip 039 There will probably be a bread basket including things like those awesome buttery, doughy biscuits that are so delicious that you never ever let yourself eat them. There may also be garlic cheese rolls, olive bread, and – on this flight – chocolate chip scones that were so sweet and dense that they were most like cake.  
first 2 days trip 012 Just give in to it. You’re going to be drinking booze for the next 8 days straight, so why not ease into it now? Yes, I’ll have some more please. Just remember that altitude makes you feel way less booze way more.

end of trip 059 Appetizers like savory herbed cheesecake with smoked salmon, capers, and balsamic glaze? Um, okay!

end of trip 061

Beef that is cooked – while not perfectly – a pretty good medium with a touch of rosiness and a very savory, if a touch too salty, gravy.

 end of trip 065

And an ice cream sundae to top it off. What’s the last time you had a hot fudge sundae?

I know, it’s been too long for me too. That’s why this is the perfect time to indulge.

Because you are on a flight. you are watching so-so movies.

And you have nothing else to do.

Plus we all know that calories consumed in mid-air don’t actually exist.

Oh, you didn’t know that?

You’re welcome.

And that’s why I am a flight snob.