Guy Fieri’s American Kitchen and Barf

For work related reasons, I went to Guy Fieri’s American Kitchen and Bar.

Oh yes, that Guy Fieri’s American Kitchen and Bar.

Full disclosure: I was there for an event. I did not have to pay for any of my food. I will not be commenting on the event or the staff only the food.

I actually don’t know what to say…it is almost as bad as Pete Wells claims it is.

Let’s review: IMG_20131019_221044_084 First of all, the space is great. It’s large and well laid out,with many areas to enjoy a full meal,a  beer and a snack, and even an evening concert (downstairs). Even with the jam packed event, I rarely felt squished for space.

That concludes the positive portion of this post.

IMG_20131019_221125_708 Turkey meatball

Pretty inoffensive – a little denser than I prefer, but juicy. Served in a rather sweet, bright sauce that could have used some salt. It wasn’t bad, it just wasn’t good. If I ate this at a wedding, I would have nothing to complain about, but at a restaurant where I’m paying premium prices – I mean how much would it kill ya to throw some dried oregano in the sauce? IMG_20131019_221715_469 Australian lamb chops with pesto

Easily the most horrible dish of the night. Australian lamb is wonderful – mild with a slightly wild, earthy taste and it is especially good when char grilled to a lovely medium rare. This was served practically raw and lukewarm – not the ideal temperature for lamb chops. The poor chop is greasy and flabby with a sad, limp texture. the swab of incredibly garlicky pesto does the mild meat no favors. This could not be more disappointing.  IMG_20131019_220259_324 Sashimi Tacos

I know that we have all seen these before – the fusion mashup of Japanese and Mexican foods is all over menus these days. But this was lacking a little something. Namely – flavor and texture. Theere was no hit of soy or ginger in the fish (which was unbearably mushy). The  mango salsa was almost sickly sweet and next to the soft fish made the mouthful rather mushy punctuated by shards of tortilla shell. I have had excellent fusion dishes and sadly, this just isn’t one of them.  IMG_20131019_220244_171 Chinese Chicken Salad

Wolfgang Puck this ain’t. It’s overdressed, aggressively gingered, and topped with fried wontons strips way too early so they have already gone soft. This was a large event, so perhaps it would be better when made fresher but it didn’t show well. The chicken is, however, very nice – tender and served win a sticky, sweet , and salty glaze.  IMG_20131019_220711_358 Dorito dusted bacon mac and cheese

I love Doritos. I am practically the chips’ biggest fan.

BUT

When you tell me that you are flavoring something with Doritos, you had better deliver. Don’t throw some tiny crumbs on there and expect me to be wowed by the flavor. This  mac and cheese was really pretty good – creamy, not too gloopy, made with surprisingly al dente shells and served with crispy bacon and sharp scallions. But the Doritos really did throw me off. Dude…if you say Doritos, I want Doritos! IMG_20131019_220533_917 Pulled pork sliders

Oh what, you can’t see the pork? Me niehter because the pork was put on in such a stingy manner. It wasn’t that great – watery slaw, dried out meat and a way too cottony bun. It’s that old joke… “the food was awful…and there was so little of it!”

What can I say that hasn’t already been said? The food is too pricey for what it is – banquet hall food. I can’t comment on the overall experience, but if I paid more than a few bucks to eat this food, I would be annoyed.

And hungry.

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