What is my Excuse?

I have 2 posts waiting to be published. I couldn’t believe that I didn’t post Friday, and when I realized (in shock and fear) that I hadn’t posted today, I knew that something was wrong. 

Luckily, I am skilled in the art of self diagnosing. 

I am getting married in way, way less than a month’s time.

Via Urban Dictionary:

Bride Brain

A less invasive, but more expensive version of a frontal lobotomy. Experienced by most brides, as they enter a catatonic state which renders them incapable of sustaining any thought or conversation that does not involve cake, caterers, flowers, wedding dress designers, Chinese wedding dress knockoff designers, updo’s, hair pieces, color schemes, wedding themes, and personalized M&M’s.
Bride Brain symptoms include, but are not limited to, driving erratically because they can’t stop staring at their shiny diamond ring; being amused by the resentment of all their single girlfriends, rewinding songs several hundred times while imagining themselves walking down the aisle, and starvation induced bitchiness which is generally followed by late night binging at a Dairy Queen. (Note that this can only occur outside of the bride’s native geographic area, where they can’t possibly run into anyone they know).

Symptoms are ordinarily well controlled with valium, alcohol and endless hours of watching youtube “first dance” videos.

I have avoided it for a long time but I have been struck by the dreaded bride brain. I have contracted a stress-related illness, have hit my head HARD getting into cabs twice last weeks, have snapped at everyone from my dad to my sweet front desk person (I apologized), and have generally lost my damn mind.
I doubt I will forget to post again. But in case I do…I am so sorry. Coming up tomorrow, the pizza of my youth.

Comments

  1. Ttrockwood says:

    How exciting your wedding is SO SOON!!!!

    But you know what my favorite part was??? The part where this post was dated april 7th and you promised to post soon on the “pizza of your youth”.

    And then i scrolled to the previous post from april 3rd, already up on the blog, and labeled “pizza of my youth”…..!!!

    Now, turn off your phone and computer, have nightcap, and sleep for 12hours in a row.

  2. fritosfg says:

    @Trockwood – omg kill me. That’s what happens when you “quick edit” a post that was written last week.

    Just changed it. oy. thank you!

    Next month, let’s meet in person for a REAL nightcap!!!

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